Mom Insists Stepdaughter, 12, Is Homeschooled Due to Her Health Issues. Now, Her Husband's Ex Says She's 'Unfair' and 'Cruel'

A woman is unsure she made the right decision after she insisted on homeschooling her stepdaughter.

The original poster (OP) shared her story on Reddit and explained that she and her husband have three girls, who are 3, 5, and 12. Her husband shares their 12-year-old with his ex.

According to the OP, her stepdaughter has an undiagnosed stomach issue. She wrote that she and her husband are working with a gastroenterologist to help the tween with her health issues. She said they've done blood tests, stool tests, colonoscopies, endoscopies, biopsies, ultrasounds and other procedures. Although they have a few leads, the OP said they still don't know yet what it is causing the problem.

The mom of three went on to say her husband's ex can be difficult. She alleges the girl's mother believes in natural medicine and fought them putting the 12-year-old on meds, gave her supplements that made the problem worse, withheld medication and missed appointments. OP said they had 50/50 custody until recently.

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She noticed that her stepdaughter would be missing three to four days a week of school and was falling behind, so OP and her husband thought it would be best to homeschool her. Their 6-year-old was already homeschooled for other reasons and OP said she had been teaching for 20 years.

"Her mom refused to allow us to homeschool her because it would be unfair for us to see her on her mom's weeks and she refused our other suggestion, which is online school through the district because it doesn't count as real school," OP continued.

She explained they were already in court over the mom's difficulty with meds and appointments, so they added the fact that the mom was stopping the 12-year-old from "getting an appropriate education." The judge sided with the OP and her husband, who are now making all medical and educational decisions. The 12-year-old now sees her mom for two hours on Saturdays while being supervised.

OP said her family and her husband's family thinks they're being "cruel to my step-daughter and her mom." She added that in the mom's mind, they had taken her daughter away because she didn't want her to be homeschooled.

Now, OP isn't sure if she took things too far when trying to homeschool her stepdaughter. She also added in her comments that her stepdaughter has said she doesn't want to be homeschooled.

In her comments, many agreed that while OP and her husband should probably be making all the decisions, they also understood the mother's point of view.

"You went from 50/50 split custody, to your stepdaughter only seeing her mom for two supervised hours a week," one person wrote. "I agree that it’s probably good that she’s no longer making the medical and educational decisions for her daughter, but [you did take her away]."

"She’s no longer in charge of medical or education decisions, so I guess I’m confused why she is being kept away from her daughter so much?" they continued. "She can’t keep you from homeschooling or taking her to the doctor or giving her medication, so why is she now limited to two supervised hours a week? That’s an extreme change from 50/50."

Another person suggested that none of the adults handled the situation well.

"[Everybody sucks]. The mom for withholding meds, but also you for forcing homeschool when your stepdaughter specifically doesn’t want to be homeschooled," the commenter wrote. "It makes sense that she is falling behind, but why is she missing 3-4 days a week? 12 is a key time socially and honestly homeschool will further isolate her from her peers."

A third pointed out that OP isn't listening to what her stepdaughter wants and said it's a "shame" she's not being more considerate.

"[Everybody sucks]. The mother absolutely should not be in charge of the child's medical decisions. That said, what your stepdaughter wanted — to live primarily with you, go to the same school with her friends, spend every other weekend with her mom — sounds like a more ideal scenario," they said.

"It is a shame her wishes were not taken into consideration," they added.