Man Helped Girlfriend When Times Were Tough. Now That Roles Are Reversed, She Refuses to Help

A man sought advice from the Reddit community after revealing he wanted to end his relationship with his girlfriend — but only after he “used her” to get back on his feet. 

He explained in his post that he and his girlfriend had been together for a little over a year, and early in their relationship, she had been in a difficult financial position. 

“In the beginning of our relationship she was in a really rough spot with her living situation and her car getting repossessed,” he wrote, adding that because his “money and work was good,” he decided to help her out financially.

The man said he covered nearly all her expenses while she tried to recover from debt. “I covered all her expenses as far as rent, food, utilities, bought her a car and other things while she focused on her credit cards and other personal debts,” he shared. 

For nearly a year, he acted as her financial safety net, helping her stabilize her life while he carried the financial burden.

But things changed when the roles reversed. “Fast forward 11 months and now I’m in a rough spot where work is bad and I’m barely bringing home any money,” he explained. 

He said his girlfriend, who is now financially stable, “refuses to help me because she thinks it would be a waste of her money since her help wouldn’t get me out of debt and I would still be in the same financial spot.”

According to him, every time he asked for financial support, she found a reason not to offer it. “Anytime I have asked for financial help she’ll make an excuse,” he wrote. 

While she currently paid for rent and occasionally bought food from DoorDash, the man said she continued to spend “on leisurely things without a second thought” about his struggles.

As his financial situation worsened, he said he was forced to make painful choices. “I have had to pawn and sell my belongings while she watches and refuses to help in any way,” he revealed. The situation left him questioning whether he was wrong for wanting to end the relationship once he regained stability.

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Some commenters were blunt, suggesting that his earlier generosity had backfired. One person wrote, “You might not be in a jam if you hadn’t helped her out. If she isn’t going to pay you back then stay with her and get back on your feet.”

Others were more sympathetic and believed he had every right to walk away. “NTA! But why wait to break up with her... you supported her and she can’t even help you,” another commenter said, adding that she was still paying for “DoorDash and other frivolous stuff” while he sold his possessions. 

They urged him to “just get away from her” and suggested her financial habits could lead her “back in the red sooner rather than later.”